dreams of a porcelain kitchen sink

I could never hold a fragile thing

squeezing my way into the lives of people I never had the courage to set my bags down inside of, the sudden movement, all too quickly, to the sounds of mid-90s soft rock, I’ve been aching for something bigger than me since the day I realized that my hands were both selfish and capable.

piecing broken porcelain back together, never trusted enough to hold a fragile thing.

born with a mind that has never been content with the hollowness, I wanted nests built up inside of my heart, potholes inside of my head to be filled to the brim, I wanted to never hurt another sleeping soldier ever again.

I want to breathe while drowning, to leave the door unlocked, and never think twice about who might enter. I crave to look into the eyes of my lover and see her reflection in the mirror from centuries ago; to sink into something so comforting, so tender-hearted, and yellow all over, that the sun inside of my chest lights up the whole neighborhood’s porches.

leaving gift baskets on the future’s doorstep, a whisper to the trees, to the thin designed blue line on foreign wrists, and the haphazard mess of thick, thick sleep and quilts, come inside, I’ve been missing you for my entire life.